


a dream come true

by ibstudent



Series: dreams become reality [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angry Steve Rogers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, F/M, Female Tony Stark, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, Pregnant Tony Stark, Protective Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 11:31:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14043345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibstudent/pseuds/ibstudent
Summary: Toni left after the miscarriage. She buried herself in work and has now isolated herself from everyone she once considered family. When Steve is hospitalized, she goes back, fully prepared to lose her husband for good.





	a dream come true

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags and also the previous work in this series. There is talk about the miscarriage in this story, so if that's going to disturbing or painful for you, please don't read. I mean that in the nicest way possible, I just don't want anyone to get hurt reading this.

When Toni got back to the villa that night, the door was cracked open. Slowly, she set her briefcase down and activated the gauntlet watch, just in case. If there was a real intruder, JARVIS would have told her, but any intruder was unwelcome at this point.

She almost had a heart attack when the door swung open, a tall figure storming out. There was small sigh of relief when she realized it was Steve, but the relief didn’t last for long.

The man was furious. Not the kind of furious where they made up after Toni did something reckless in the field, but the kind of furious where Steve spent the day in the gym, breaking punching bag after punching bag.

Toni gulped.

He had the ring in his hand.

“What the hell is this, Toni? Huh? Because after last night, I thought we might be getting somewhere and then I come back this morning to _your_ ring on my nightstand and you nowhere to be found!”

He was in her personal space now and continued yelling, “I was there! I’ve been there for you this whole time! When you locked everyone out of the shop and then when you started running off to Stark Industries everyday, I was there. When you had nightmares? I was there! We’ve been together for years and now I get this? What the fuck did I ever do to you?”

Toni could see into his eyes now, those eyes that used to be so full of love and devotion, now overtaken by hurt and betrayal and anger. She could see her reflection in the tears.

Steve’s voice was trembling now, but it still held all the fire and anger that he was feeling, “Toni, **_WE_ ** lost a daughter. Not just you, **WE**. I grieved, I held you, I was there, and now you just run?”

Her husband turned and let out a choked sob of a laugh, “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Running, that’s what you’re best at, huh? The only thing you know how to do, am I right?”

Toni didn’t have an answer. She dodged around Steve and ran for the house. He didn’t follow her or say anything, he didn’t have to. Toni could feel the daggers he was glaring at her back even after she closed the door.

“JARVIS, put me on lockdown. No one comes in, no one calls, texts, or emails me. Got it?”

She could practically hear the sorrow and concern in the AI’s voice, “As you wish, miss.”

Finally, Toni let out the sobs and wails that had been building. Building since the minute she took off the ring. She sobbed for the child they had lost, she sobbed because she couldn’t even do this right, she sobbed because she had just lost the one person she had ever loved. There was nothing else to do, so she sat and cried and let the panic and grief consume her.

.

When Toni woke up the next morning, her neck hurt, her mouth felt like the Sahara, and she was 50% sure she was dead. After stretching and groaning, she figured out she wasn’t dead, but fucking hell, she wished she was.

Technically speaking, she had more meetings with the headquarters here in Spain before she was done, but there was no way she was going to any of them. Pepper probably already had them covered.

“JARVIS, is there a property that I own that Steve doesn’t know about? Anywhere at all?” Her mouth was still dry so she got up and moved towards the kitchen.

“There is a small house on Prince Edward Island in Canada, miss. To my knowledge, its existence has never been divulged to Captain Rogers.”

Thank god, there was coffee in the cupboard. “Great. Get the jet prepped. I’m moving to Canada. Indefinitely. Let Pepper know, but no one else. Tell her if she tells anyone,” this coffee was better than anything she had ever tasted, “she’s fired. Got it?”

“As you wish, miss.”

Toni set to work packing a bag, not knowing what was going to be on PEI, considering that she had forgotten that she owned it. There was no telling what was or wasn’t going to be there.

.

The house was small, smaller than most of the houses that she owned. But for right now? It would do. This was Toni’s new sanctuary and no one would disturb her here. The workshop was adequate for the work she’d need to do for SI and apparently, she had already installed JARVIS in the house.

Toni worked and lived in the little house on PEI for six months before JARVIS paged through a 911 emergency.

“Miss, Captain Rogers has been injured. From what I have discerned, his injuries may be life threatening. Ms. Romanov is demanding to speak to you. Shall I put her through?”

Panic was slowly spreading through her once again. “How bad is it?”

Nat’s face was suddenly on the screen, “Stark, I don’t know where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing, but I need you to get to New York. ASAP. The doctor’s aren’t sure he’s gonna make it through the night. How soon can you be here?”

Toni heaved herself off the couch, ignoring Nat’s gasp as she grabbed her phone, “I’ll get the jet ready, I can be there in four hours, tops.”

“You’re pregnant?” Toni didn’t think she’d ever heard the assassin’s voice go that quiet before.

JARVIS cut the call.

.

The suit would have gotten her there so much faster, but she couldn’t fit in the suit anymore. The drive from LaGuardia to the hospital was agonizing, every second felt like she should have been there, should have saved him, could’ve done more. It was a never ending cycle until Happy pulled up at the hospital, opening the door for her, just like nothing had changed.

Rhodey and Sam were waiting outside. The looks on their faces didn’t bode well, not well at all. She almost broke down crying right then and there, but she held it together for now. Partially because both of them had the decency to not bring up the very obvious condition she was in.

“Is he-?”

They flanked her as they made their way to the elevator. Sam was the first to talk, “Not yet. They’re pretty sure he’s gonna wake up soon. He’s been talking in his sleep, mostly about you.”

God bless Rhodey. He already had his arms open, as if he had anticipated that she would need a hug before they got there.

The doors opened before they had the chance to say anything. And then they were bombarded by team members who quickly cleared back when they saw Toni.

Peter came forward, wrapping her in a hug, and sobbing into her shoulder, “Mom!”

That single word had the weight of the last year crashing down around Toni and with that weight came her walls. Toni started crying with Peter and soon, the whole team was wrapped around them. All of them together as they hadn’t been in forever.

It didn’t even begin to prepare Toni for seeing Steve. Because when she walked into that hospital room? She almost started crying all over again. Her husband, her Steve, the man who had always seemed so invincible was laying in a hospital bed. His face was almost as white as his sheets, he was hooked up to a ventilator, and was to so many other machines, that Toni didn’t even want to count them all.

She sat down in the chair next to the bed and started talking.

“Steve, baby? It’s me Toni. I’m here now and I know now that I should have been here all along. I’m sorry I left in the first place. I-” Toni paused to choke down a sob, “I never should have left. I had no reason to leave. You were right, running is what I do best. Running or burying myself in work. This time I just happened to do both. But I love you and when you wake up, I hope that maybe you can find it in you to forgive me. If you can’t I-I understand.

“But Steve? I’m pregnant. That night before I left? Apparently that was enough. I’m six months along and I found out last week that it’s a boy. Did you hear that, baby? Peter’s gonna have a little brother in a few months. But he’s gonna need a dad. So please, Steve, you have to wake up. You just have to wake up!

“I was a bitch before, I’m not going to deny that. I ran and locked you out and away from me. I had no consideration for anyone else but myself. I realize that now. But before? I wasn’t thinking and I- I just need to talk to you Steve. Really sit down and talk. Because I can’t do this without you. These last few months? There were days I wondered why I even bothered. Because you wouldn’t want me anymore after what I’d done and there really wasn’t anyone else to be living for, so why should I bother?  

“But then this little guy would kick or I’d make a new breakthrough in a project or I’d remember everything we had built together. A-and I just couldn’t give up. So please, Steve, please don’t give up on me, on us. I’m not even asking for myself anymore. Just let this baby have a father, Steve, please!”

The monitors continued their steady beeping. Nothing had changed.

Nurses and doctors came through every hour, always finding the same thing. Nothing was changing, which was both a good thing and a bad thing, the doctors explained. If nothing was changing it meant that nothing was declining, but nothing was improving either, which was concerning considering Steve’s healing factor.

There were tears in Toni’s eyes and she had massive bags under her eyes, “So is there hope that he’ll wake up? Any at all?”

“His brain activity indicates that it’s entirely possible, Mrs. Stark. As of right now, it’s a waiting game.” The doctor was fiddling with a pen while he talked. If he was nervous, that couldn’t be a good thing.

“We’ll keep you updated, ma’am.”

As the doctor was leaving, Peter slipped through the door. Toni opened her arms and the boy practically ran to her.

“I-I’m sorry I called you mom earlier. I k-know that you’re n-not. But I haven’t seen you in ages and a-all Pepper could tell us w-was that you were alive and I d-didn’t know if I’d ever see you again and I just-”

Toni dropped a kiss on his head as he cried, “Peter, don’t you ever be sorry. If you wanna call me mom, I don’t have any issue with that, got it? And I know I was gone and I didn’t tell anyone. I’m sorry I worried everyone, but I just needed some time. Please don’t cry anymore, kiddo. No more tears are necessary today, okay?”

Peter sniffled a little, but looked up and nodded with a small smile on his lips. Toni gave him another kiss and squished him into a hug.

.

They waited a week before there was any change in Steve’s condition. A week of people taking shifts and making sure that Toni took care of herself. She refused to leave Steve’s side.

_“I already left him once. I can’t do that again, I just can’t. I’m not leaving.”_

Rhodey and Sam were with her when the machines changed tune just a bit. The whole team had been hearing the same steady, slow beeping pattern for the entire week. They were all intimately aware of any and all changes in the rhythms.

Toni sat up from her position on the couch while Rhodey went to go get a doctor. Sam helped her up and kept his arm wrapped around her as she made her way to the bed. There were hopeful looks on both of their faces.

“Steve? Honey, can you hear me? Steve?” Toni’s voice was trembling.

For the first time in months, Toni saw the brilliant blue eyes that she had fallen in love with. And they were looking anywhere but at her.

“Steve, please-”

Rhodey came back with the doctor and they were all escorted out of the room. She waited until they reached the waiting area. And then Toni broke down, just like she had a week ago, only this time? It was so much worse. She had seen the look in his eyes when they had landed on her. There was none of the light that she had always known. Steve was physically there, but emotionally, he was so far away Toni may as well have been on Asgard. 

There was no coming back from this. Toni knew that for sure now. But it still hurt like a bitch. It hurt knowing that she’d have to raise this baby on her own. It hurt knowing that her broken marriage was all her fault.

.

Steve came home a week later, mostly fine. He was still on crutches but he wouldn’t be for very much longer. The bruises were already gone and by the time they were, Toni would be too.

She was in the shop, packing a few things to take back to Canada with her when Steve hobbled into the shop. He looked around for a minute while Toni tried to pretend that he wasn’t there. If she could do that, she could pretend that her heart wasn't continuously being smashed to pieces.

And then Steve started talking, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Toni's voice came out so quietly that she wasn't sure if Steve could hear her, “I didn’t think you’d want me anymore. I screwed everything up so badly, I figured that you’d moved on and that I should just stay away. If I came back, I’d probably just be a nuisance.” Keeping her tears at bay was taking some real effort, not looking at Steve was helping.

Of course, Steve made his way over to her and tipped her chin up to look him in the eye. When Toni met his eyes, she almost gasped. The baby blue eyes that had always held so much love were looking straight into her soul. There was a feeling of deja vu; these were the eyes that she had fallen in love with. These eyes that were so centered but simultaneously everywhere at once.

“Sweetheart, I was angry. And I’m sorry for what I said when I was angry. I wish I could go back in time and take back what I said. Good lord do I ever wish I could. I’m not saying that either of us are blame free in the last few months, but I’m willing to move on from the past.” Dear Lord, they were both crying now, “Please come home? We can fix all this. Just come home, please?”

When Steve held his arms out, Toni gladly accepted the hug, feeling truly at home for the first time in a long time. They stood there for what felt like hours, saying things like “I’m so sorry” and “Can you ever forgive me?” and “I love you so much”. Each was reveling at the feeling of being together again; they hadn’t really done this since before the miscarriage. It had been over a year and a half since they had been so in love, so together, so joined.

Ugly, earth shaking sobs were coming out of Toni’s mouth and it was only then that she really started talking, “I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant again, so fucking scared, Steve. I already wasn’t good enough for our little girl and she’s dead because of me. I killed our child because I wasn’t good enough! So I figured that getting pregnant had to be some sort of sick joke from some higher power because why would I lose one only to have another taken from me so soon? And then I hit the five month mark and all I wanted to do was come home but I didn’t think that you’d want me anymore because I was the one who lost our little girl in the first place!”

“Oh sweetheart,” Toni was pulled tighter into the solid warmth of Steve’s chest, “you are good enough. You were good enough then too. Losing our little girl wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. You. Are. Good. Enough. You’re more than enough for me and you’ll be the best mother to this baby too, right?”

He pulled the ring out of his pocket and put it back on Toni’s finger, “You will be, I promise.”

.

They were back at Dr. Evans’ office a month later. The couple was radiating happiness, especially after they got the news that their little boy was perfectly healthy.

“He’s going to be beautiful and he’s developing right on track for the 7 month mark. Do you guys have any questions?” Dr. Evans handed Toni a towel to clean off the gel.

“How much work can I actually do? Because my _wonderful_ husband here, seems to think that I need to stay away from my shop until after this baby is born. I keep telling him that I’m staying away from chemicals and flame, but he still thinks I shouldn’t be working. I need a professional opinion.” Despite her ribbing at Steve, Toni was beaming at him.

Dr. Evans just laughed and handed them the ultrasound picture, “I think you should be okay for right now to continue as you have been. As long as you’re staying away from chemicals and being _careful_ with open flames, you should be able to work right up until you deliver. Be extra careful lifting things though, weight can really harm you at this point.”

Steve huffed and then rolled his eyes when Toni stuck her tongue out at him. They both really hated being wrong.

.

As it turned out, they were both in the shop when Toni’s contractions started. Toni was working on some coding for the newest edition of the StarkPhone, as well as new arc reactor plans for the compound. Steve was on the couch sketching. Neither of them liked being very far from the other, especially now that Toni’s due date was so close.

Toni hissed when the contraction rolled through. It felt kind of like the Braxton-Hicks that had been coming more frequently but something told her this wasn’t one of those.

Steve perked his head up from his sketch book when he heard Toni hiss, immediately making his way over to the workbench.

“Braxton-Hicks?”

Toni almost moaned, his massage on her shoulders felt like heaven, “Maybe? This one feels different though. It might be time here soon.”

Her husband’s tone of voice changed when he started talking, “Okay, well I mean, the hospital bag is already in the car, but we’ll have to call Nat, cause I think she’s at SHIELD right now. If we call now she should be able to make it back before we have to leave and then we have to tell the rest of the team. And we should go upstairs, just so that we’re prepared for when we have to leave and -”

And Toni got up to move over to the holo screens on the other side of the shop.

“What are you doing?” Steve sounded genuinely confused.

Toni turned around and smiled at him, “I’m working?”

“B-but we need to get ready to go and you shouldn’t be working if you’re in labor and I just think we should go upstairs!” His spluttering really was adorable.

“Steve, baby, my labor hasn’t really started. It won’t truly even _be_ labor until after my water breaks, which could be hours yet. I really need to get this stuff done, going upstairs can wait.” She had been working on these projects for weeks, double time, as she knew that once the baby was here, there wouldn’t be much time for work.

“Toni!”

“Steve! It’s fine! Just give me like another hour, or until my water breaks and then we can upstairs, okay? I really need to get this coding done before this baby gets here.” Toni had turned around initially, but was now steadily working at the holo screens again.

She could practically feel Steve staring holes into her back. After awhile, she gave up on trying to work.

“Oh alright!” Toni threw her hands up in the air, “Fine! You win! Let’s go upstairs! JARVIS, put the shop in sleep mode but keep running that code, see if you can find the flaws.”

“As you wish, miss. I wish you the best of luck.”

Toni grumbled as Steve ushered her into the elevator.

.

Six hours later, and Toni was squeezing the life out of Steve’s hand and screaming her lungs out. Labor and delivery hurt like hell!

“OH MY GOD WE ARE NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, YOU BASTARD? YOU ARE WEARING A FUCKING CONDOM FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES, I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN, OH MY GOD!”

Toni thought that she might be breaking Steve’s hand with how hard she was squeezing but at this point? It’d honestly be payback.

“Okay Toni, with the next contraction can you give me another big push?” Dr. Evans was trying not to laugh at Toni’s outbursts.

“WHY DID I MARRY YOU WITH YOUR STUPID FUCKING SUPER SOLDIER SPERM? I SWEAR WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE I’M PUTTING YOU BACK ON ICE JUST SO THAT I DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS AGAIN. THIS FUCKING HURTS YOU DICK DON’T FUCKING LAUGH AT ME!”

And then came the most beautiful little cry that Toni had ever heard. The pain stopped and all she could hear was her baby crying. When they laid him on her chest, he was covered in Thor only knows what, but he was still the most beautiful thing either of them had ever seen.

“Hey baby. I’m your mommy. And this asshole over here is your father. Oh hello precious.”

Steve just chuckled, focusing on their son, “Language.”

.

James Camden Stark-Rogers was born on June 16, 2018. He weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 20 inches long. He had inherited Steve’s blonde hair, but had Toni’s gorgeous brown eyes. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room when the team came in to visit. All of them were crying and cooing over this newest addition to their little family.

“Peter, come meet your little brother.” Toni was holding James when Peter came in, “Do you want to hold him?”

The Spider-Man nodded, awestruck as he sat in the chair next to the bed. Steve gently took James from Toni and eased him into Peter’s arms.

Steve came back and sat next to Toni on the bed, “Is this what happiness feels like? What it really truly feels like?”

“Yeah, I think so. I don’t think it can get any better than this.” Toni was leaning on her husband, in serious danger of falling asleep.

  



End file.
